Breaking Up With My OBGYN: The Story of A Suffering Woman
Let me start by saying two things.
I’ve never considered myself much of a “rebel” but I am a very avid “questioner.” I thank God every day for that trait, because without it I may still be confused, frustrated, helpless, hopeless, and enslaved to the pill.
What I am sharing will not rub everyone the right way, and that’s okay. I don’t intend to put a bad name on anything/anyone but this is my experience, and my reality.
When I stopped having a period at 23, it was convenient. Not only was it summertime, but I wasn’t spending a week each month…
Changing/canceling plans
Dealing with pain, bloating, and general feelings of discomfort (I lost count very young the number of times I had to miss practice, social plans, school, and work because of these things)
Worrying about if I have enough tampons with me
Really dreading my workouts because I was exhausted, didn’t recover well, and had a shortness of breath (check the wrap up for a note on this)
At this time I also started dealing with an onslaught of other health complaints, so again, it was convenient to at least not have my monthly bleed. So I thought. When I told my doctor, “Oh and I haven’t had my period in four months.” she took it a little more seriously than I did.
I was then sent to an OBGYN who asked, “Are you pregnant?” When I said no, of course she pressed a little harder. It took all of me to blurt out, “Look ma’am, I’m saving myself for marriage (which fun fact, I sure did!). So no, no baby. Can you just help me understand what may be causing this problem? And how can I get them back and not dread them?”
I restrained, and politely told her I was sure. She asked about the history of my periods — How were they? Painful? Heavy? Did I experience clotting? Did I bloat?
I mean, really I checked ALL of the boxes from an early age that I had a hormonal imbalance, and likely have always been estrogen dominant. But that wasn’t spoken of. Instead we decided it was best to do an internal and external ultrasound to rule out things like PCOS, and other physical abnormalities. Thankfully, things looked mostly alright.
Her diagnosis/response was definitely more professional, but here’s what I heard…”Wellll you mayyyyybe have teeny tiny cysts, or they could be eggs that just aren’t fully developing, soooo I’m not totally sure but mayyyybe it could uh, hmm, be a little bit of PCOS?! Not sure, but we are going to put you on birth control so you at least bleed each month.”
I was ultra confused….that really gave me no answers. And even if she had straight up said, “Holly, you have PCOS,” I would’ve asked, “Okay but why? At the root, WHY is this happening to my body?” Unfortunately, I don’t think there would have been an answer or a different solution regardless of a true diagnosis.
I reluctantly began an oral contraceptive and did have monthly bleeds. But let me tell you a few things…
It was awful
I hated taking that thing every day
After four months I finally obeyed my intuition and stopped taking it
Praise God I did…because if I knew what I know now (read more of that info in my blog, “Knowledge Is Girl Power: The Untold Truths About ‘The Pill’”), I would’ve thrown the original prescription script in the trash
When the nurse called to check in, I let her know I stopped taking the prescription. Her and the OBGYN were confused as to why, and let me know I really should start taking it again.
I never went back to that OBGYN.
That was the beginning of my own research, and working with other practitioners that would listen to me, dig down to the “Why” with me, and truly help me. More to come on how I got answers, what I learned, and the reality of a healing journey! And why I didn’t go back to see an OBGYN until I was mentally and emotionally ready/equipped.
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The more I’ve told my story, the more I have learned SO many women have stories that follow a similar narrative and it absolutely breaks my heart. We should not go into a doctor’s office and be told that our only solution includes some sort of prescription, and that we are simply SOL.
That’s why I am going to stand up and continue to share — so that maybe just one woman’s eyes will be opened, and their hormonal destiny re-routed.
A few final things…
I am not telling you to throw away your BC, but I am hopeful you really evaluate your own situation. It isn’t easy to truly get a clear picture of what’s going on with your hormones while you are on any form of BC prescription. I’m grateful that I was, and am still able to be aware of symptoms of hormonal imbalance, address them, and see if things are working to get my body back to balance and optimal health BECAUSE I am not taking oral contraceptives.
What works for one woman may not work for another. However, there are plenty of foundational things that help many women!
The bullet point about exercise…This is one thing that is so incredibly close to my heart so keep an eye out for a blog about my experience with over-exercising, recovering from that physically/mentally/emotionally, and why I will never ever get behind things like, #nodaysoff, extreme unrealistic expectations, and women spending many months year after year following extremely disciplined workout plans.
If you are wondering if you’ve got hormonal imbalances going on, I encourage you to explore that wonder. Reach out if you’d like to chat!
If you wonder if there is a doctor out there who will listen to you and help you get to the root-cause of your issues so you can heal and thrive, I’m here to tell you Y E S ! There are many!!! DM me on Instagram for some recommendations!
Healing does not happen over night, in fact it took me 3.5 years before I had a period again. But doing things each day will 1. Help you to begin seeing improvements and 2. Set yourself up for success. Trust me, the process is worth it.
To all of the women out there, I love you, I’m here for you, and I’m fighting to make sure you get the info, care, and healing you deserve!!!
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DISCLAIMER: This is not meant to provide medical advice and should not be use in place of a medical provider to diagnose or treat any illness or medical condition. The information shared is my experience, and support professional advice you receive from your doctor. This information on this site have not been evaluated by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration, and it is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. You should consult with your licensed medical provider before beginning or modifying your diet, medical, or exercise program.